Sleb Safari: Jaden Smith is wiser than you. Deal with it

Jaden Smith played the Karate Kid in a remake of the film but even at this young age he was already displaying a remarkable ability to see things so much more clearly than you. And do the splits. Picture by PA Photo/Sony

AND so to the Pinkett-Smith family residence where parents Will and Jada have raised two teenagers who think they skateboard and take selfies on a higher plane of existence than everyone else.

Their 17-year-old son Jaden has offered us an insight into the workings of his self-proclaimed masterful mind via the medium of an interview with GQ in which he declares that his “whole life” is dedicated to “breaking, like, the craziest records of life”.

Sadly no-one at the magazine had the heart to tell him that made no sense at all and so he warmed to the theme, sharing that although he and younger sister Willow told the New York Times last year that time didn’t exist (or was it last year if time is merely a social construct?) it was all in the name of science.

“Me and Willow are scientists so everything for us is a scientific test upon humanity. And luckily we’re put in a position where we can affect large groups of human beings at one time.”

Sleb Safari already feels irritated. You?

“It’s so much fun. It’s the best thing. People think you’re crazy—I feel like it’s an honor, actually, for people to think I’m crazy.

“Because they thought Galileo was crazy, too, you know what I’m saying? I don’t think I’m as revolutionary as Galileo, but I don’t think I’m NOT as revolutionary as Galileo.”

There’s every chance Jaden Smith is confusing Galileo the Italian astronomer, physicist, engineer and philosopher with Gallo, the man who makes wine for a fiver a bottle.

On top of that Jaden must have been coming down with a dose of the Kanye Wests when he gave the interview because he also compared himself to Banksy, but, of course, a better version of Banksy.

“No one will know where I am in 10 years,” he says. Ten years? Really? We have to wait that long?

The young genius continued: “They’ll see me pop up, but they’ll be like, ‘Where’d you come from?’

“No one will know where I’m at. No one will know who I’m with. No one will know what I’m doing. I’ve been planning that since I was like 13.

“It’ll be kind of like Banksy. But in a different way. More of a social impact. Helping people but through art installations. It'll be like, ‘This just happened that helped a bunch of people over here. We don't know who did it, but these symbols and things were left around, so we can only guess that it's Jaden and the squad.’ You know what I'm saying? So I’m just dedicating my whole life to helping the world.”

It’s marvellous that Will and Jada have raised children who aren’t afraid to speak up and whose imaginations soar but there has to come a time when they want those kids to stop showing them up in interviews.

Sleb Safari thinks that time is right about now.


High Five Pamela Anderson

PAMELA Anderson of Baywatch, Playboy and save the planet fame gets Sleb Safari’s sassy lady award this week.

While being interviewed by the Times about her involvement with a charity that raises money to buy and protect swathes of rainforest, the journalist, in their own words “clumsily” remarked that it was impressive Pamela was still doing nude photoshoots.

Quick as a flash, the sassy lady replied: “I’m only 48. I’m not 100”.

Pamela Anderson, your award is in the post.


Emily Blunt Does B&B

SLEB Safari has pinpointed the location of its next holiday – Emily Blunt’s house.

Best of all, it’s on Airbnb which tickles Sleb Safari no end.

Emily and husband John Krasinski sold their LA home and the new owner has put the property, which stands on a bluff, in a private compound, in the Hollywood Hills on the rental site.

There are six bedrooms in the house, along with French doors in every room which open on to patios with incredible views, art deco chandeliers, a hot tub and plush white sofas ie: everything Sleb Safari needs to make it comfortable on holiday.

Yes, that sounds much better than the other LA Airbnb options Sleb Safari has seen that included sleeping on someone’s sofa.


Competition Winners

The winners of a family pass to Monster Manor at W5 in Belfast are Noeleen Cotter from Newry, Tracy McMurtry from Carrickfergus and Orla Millican from Belfast. Enjoy yourselves.


Social Media Watch

Mariah Carey can’t help herself when it comes to Christmas. At least she didn’t insist on wearing a bikini and heels.


#achristmasmelody #festive @thereallacey

A photo posted by Mariah Carey (@mariahcarey) on


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