Life

Ask the Expert: Connection key for dads during birth

Being prepared increases dads' ability to create the deep connection needed to be a support to their partners during childbirth
Being prepared increases dads' ability to create the deep connection needed to be a support to their partners during childbirth Being prepared increases dads' ability to create the deep connection needed to be a support to their partners during childbirth

ASK THE EXPERT

Q: "What are the advantages of me being present when my wife gives birth to our baby?"

A: Mark Harris, author of Men, Love & Birth (Pinter & Martin, £9.99.) says: "Having been a midwife for 20 years, I have seen many men leave the birth room with mixed emotions. Of course they are elated – witnessing the birth of your baby will be a profound experience – but these feelings of elation may be tempered by a sense of regret at not being able to 'do anything' when the woman they love needs them most.

"Being prepared increases your ability to create the deep connection needed, that will massively facilitate her production of the birthing-process dynamite [hormone] oxytocin.

"Knowing how human beings have evolved to give birth increases confidence, gives direction to the support you can offer her, and supercharges your ability to be resilient if the birth doesn't go as expected.

"Having an experience of building this type of connection with your partner before she gives birth will produce a deepening in your relationship, leading to a strong foundation for your emerging family.

"Preparing via regular massaging, TENs machine use (which can be used to relieve pains during labour), and understanding the so-called 'latent phase' of the birthing process, will increase the amount of time you both spend out of the hospital and may reduce the length of her birth experience.

"Understanding the importance of having the goal of connecting with her while she births will produce testosterone in you, reducing your stress response. Having a connection with her as a goal will also cure your habit of wanting to fix stuff."

Take folic acid prior to getting pregnant

Q: "We're trying for a baby – should I start taking folic acid now, or can it wait till I get pregnant?"

A: Nutritionist Emma Derbyshire says: "If you're trying for a baby, this is the time to start taking folic acid, rather than once you're pregnant, as it can take time for the body to build up the levels of folic acid needed to support a healthy pregnancy.

"Folic acid is needed in early pregnancy to help support the growth of the baby whose cells are rapidly dividing. Among women with folic acid deficiency, medical conditions such as spina bifida and cleft lip are more common.

"It's recommended that women take 400 micrograms of folic acid before and in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, as this is when the baby's spinal cord forms. It's also important to take folic acid every day when trying for a baby, as missing supplements means it can take longer for the body to build up levels of folic acid that help to protect against these conditions.

"While we can get folate from the diet, it's a myth that we get enough from dietary sources alone. In fact, new research from Solgar showed that only 10 per cent of women see nutritional value as an important factor in their diet. You would need to eat about seven plates of spinach to get the same levels found in a folic acid supplement, so it's important to keep stocks topped up."