Sleb Safari: Champagne sales rocket as we reach peak celebrity engagement
SLEB Safari is tearing up today such has been the outpouring of love following a slew of celebrity engagements.
The addictive Channel 4 show Gogglebox can boast two engagements. Eve – daughter of Germany’s finest export, Ralph – and Brighton hairdresser Chris both said yes when their partners offered to put a ring on it.
Eve Woerdenweber flashed her Kate Middleton style sparkler on Twitter.
You may recall that Eve had dated a moody looking young man for what seemed like forever. You might not remember Jay’s name and you definitely won’t remember his voice because he sat on the Woerdenweber family sofa in silence, week after week, while everyone around him got animated about what they were watching on the box.
The break-up happened in March and Silent Jay did not take it well.
He ‘told’ The Sun (probably via press release) that he was “gutted” at the break-up which had come “completely out of the blue”.
“Eve said she still wants to be friends but hasn't spoken to me and has deleted me on Facebook.”
Oh Jay, so much to learn.
Hairdresser Chris was proposed to at the top of the Eiffel Tower and he’s on cloud nine too.
And finally the cute as a button Tom Daley got engaged to his boyfriend Dustin Black. And they did it in style too, making the announcement on the back page of the Times. And Sleb Safari doesn’t mean the Ballymena Times.
The announcement in the Births, Marriages and Death section read: “The engagement is announced between Tom, son of Robert and Debra Daley of Plymouth, and Lance, son of Jeff Bisch of Philadelphia and Anne Bisch of Lake Providence.”
Tom’s mum, Debbie, is beyond delighted by the whole thing. She told the Telegraph she wasn’t losing a son but gaining another, “so it makes everything all good” and that she’s not concerned at the fact her 21-year-old son is so much younger than his fiancé.
“There is an age gap, 20 years, but then again age is but a number,” she said. Very wise Debbie, very wise.
And on the very same day that Tom and Dustin made public their engagement, Bo Bruce, of The Voice and ‘did she and Danny O’Donoghue from the Script have a thing or did they not’ fame, announced her engagement to Henry Binns of Zero 7.
If Bo goes old school and changes her name, she’ll be Bo Binns. Epic. Top that Eve, Chris and Tom.
Bar Refaeli gets hitched
HERE is she, the bride who closed air space. When Israeli model Bar Refaeli got married last week she convinced Israel’s civil aviation authority to close the air space above her wedding venue to keep paparazzi at bay.
Sleb Safari doffed its cap to her because Bar has, if you like, raised the bar in wedding planning. Ba-doom tish. Anyway, here is she on her wedding day with her new husband.
Save us and preserve us Blake Lively
ACTRESS Blake Lively has shut up shop on her artisan lifestyle business which she called Preserve.
What's that you say? Big loss? Sleb Safari can't help but agree.
The woman was trying to sell wooden crates, for crying out loud. As Preserve was such a carefully curated online retail experience each Brooklyn-made bicycle crate was “imbued with its own unique character". Yet strangely that wasn’t enough to make the business work. It’s a mystery alright.
Kanye ponders his US presidential campaign
YOU thought Donald Trump launching a campaign for the US presidency was as bad as it could get, right? Wrong. Kanye West is throwing his hat in the ring in five years time and has already come up with a slogan.
“Sweatshirts are f***ing important. That might sound like the funniest quote ever. How can you say all this stuff about running for president in 2020 and then say sweatshirts are important? But they are. Just mark my words. Mark my words like Mark Twain.”
Why, did Mark Twain claim to have invented leather jogging bottoms too?
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Note to self- if you dig up graves you're a criminal and creep but if you wait long enough you're an archaeologist. #PatienceIsKey— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) September 10, 2015