Sleb Safari: Piggy and Kermit, the end of a classic love affair
LAST week was a week of break ups and very little making up in Slebdom. It started when Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale announced they were ending their 13-year marriage and snowballed until former One Directioner Zayn Malik and Little Mix’s Perrie Edwards had called time on their engagement.
Sleb smut hounds were still digesting that news when an A-list couple regarded as having one of the strongest relationships in Hollywood announced they were consciously uncoupling.
That’s right, Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog’s relationship has croaked.
This was a couple who had been together for five decades, who made movies and TV shows together, sang together, fought in public together...
Kermit had the unenviable task of going public with the break-up and didn’t shy away from laying the blame at Miss Piggy’s door.
"After careful thought, thoughtful consideration and considerable squabbling, Miss Piggy made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship.
“We will continue to work together on television (The Muppets/Tuesdays 8pm this fall on ABC) and in all media now known or hereafter devised, in perpetuity, throughout the universe.
“However, our personal lives are now distinct and separate, and we will be seeing other people, pigs, frogs, et al. This is our only comment on this private matter. Thank you for your understanding.”
Miss Piggy added that it would be their only comment “unless we get the right offer”.
Sleb Safari’s heart went out to them when they had to appear together during press conference in LA to promote their new Muppet show hours after making their split public.
Kermit admitted that “It can be tough to work with your ex... Especially when your ex is a pig” and added “we’re going to be fine, we can be professionals, or at least one of us can.”
US Weekly reported that Miss Piggy arrived late (quelle surprise) and said of the break up: "Dating moi is like flying close to the sun. It was inevitable that Kermit would drop down to the ground while I stayed in the heavens."
Kermit told ET Online the relationship had run its course.
"It's an interesting thing that happens sometimes – you're with someone for years, and you suddenly discover that you have gone in two different directions. And when you're a frog and a pig, those directions can be extreme."
He also let slip that he’s still a big fan of the bacon.
“It's the curly tail. It's fascinating. I don't know why it makes a difference to frogs, but it's pretty cool."
Kermit acknowledged that he’s in a new relationship with a lady called Denise. What do you expect? A frog that green is a catch. Piggy will soon come to her senses.
Taylor Swift's birthday blooper
HABITUAL friend-gatherer Taylor Swift let herself down this past week when wishing one of her many gal pals a happy birthday.
Taylor wished Victoria’s Secret model Karlie Kloss many happy returns by Instagramming a questionable photograph of the birthday girl.
As you can see the photo is all about Taylor’s new boyfriend Calvin Harris and Karlie is like an afterthought in the background, slaving away at a hot stove.
Sleb Safari read the caption “Some of my best memories have been with this girl, laughing in the kitchen. Happy Birthday to the ray of light that is @karliekloss” thinking ‘but that’s a fella’.
Karlie must have felt very, very special.
Cabaret for Concern Competition
SLEB Safari has two tickets to give away to a cabaret evening of music, food and perhaps even a little dancing at Belfast’s Cabaret Supper Club.
The event is on Friday September 4 and is a fundraiser in support of Concern Worldwide which works to tackle hunger and transform lives.
To be in with a chance to win a pair of tickets answer the following: Concern was founded in Ireland in which year?
Email your entry to email@example.com and mark the entry ‘Cabaret for Concern Competition’. The deadline is noon on Wednesday August 12 and usual Irish News rules apply. Don’t forget to include your contact details, including a phone number.
You can also buy tickets if you’d like to attend the evening by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org
Tickets are £40 and you’ll get a main course, cabaret show and one raffle entry in return. Doors open 6.30pm. Be there or be square.
You can also donate via https://yourconcern.concern.net/carmel-colohan/machu-picchu-trek
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Pierce Brosnan has been visitng the old sod