I'M A single mum and always thought my son was a bit shy.
He still lives with me, even though he's now 26, which, as I'm on my own, I'm quite happy about, to be honest.
I was trying to encourage him to make friends with the girls who have moved in next door, when he snapped at me that he was gay and has had several relationships.
I had never realised, and wonder if it's my fault for keeping him too close.
He clearly wants me to accept what he said, but I've not said much since as I was so shocked.
RA
FIONA SAYS: Being gay isn't something you make someone, it's just something they are.
Having told you he's gay, he's still the same person – just not the person you thought he was, which is your problem, not his.
He needs your love and acceptance just the same as he always has.
He is probably anxious about the fact you don't appear to accept him for who he is, and, if you don't talk to him soon, it may drive a wedge between you.
The organisation FFLAG (Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) can help you think about the issues that are bothering you.
Their website (www.fflag.org.uk) has lots of useful advice and information.
Jealousy is threatening our future as a couple
My boyfriend is a great guy and I'm pretty certain he's about to propose to me.
What worries me is how jealous he is.
I feel that if we don't sort this before we get married, it will make our lives together pure hell.
I have a job that involves travel around the UK and Europe and whenever I get back, I get grilled on every last detail of my trip.
I have tried to reassure him as much as I can, including telling him I love him, but he still wants to go into minute detail about everything.
On these trips I'm working hard and am usually too worn out for anything to happen, even if I wanted it to (which I don't).
How do I convince him that he can trust me?
SS
FIONA SAYS: Jealousy is a very destructive emotion and it is not in the least bit rational.
However logical you are, it makes no difference as he will still need constant reassurance, which you won't always be able to give him.
His imagination will supply details that don't exist.
You are right in wanting to address this before you are married as constant distrust and jealousy is no basis for a lasting relationship.
His lack of confidence in himself is at the root of the problem and I think you need him to know you are concerned.
His GP could arrange for him to see a counsellor, or he could look into self-help books on the subject (try Overcoming Jealousy And Possessiveness by Paul A Hauck, for example).
If he is unwilling to try to change his behaviour then do think carefully before you commit yourself to someone who could make your life very difficult and miserable.
GP said no to family planning issue
My wife and I got married when we were in our teens and, now in our late twenties, are still very much in love.
We have three children (twins and a singleton) and are quite certain we don't want any more, so I thought my GP would understand when I said I wanted a vasectomy.
Instead he said he thought we are both too young to be making such a decision.
This seems daft to me as all it is doing is increasing the chances of a mistake that we'll regret.
We're both intelligent, capable people who know our own minds, so what has the doctor got against it?
Can we bypass him or force him to refer us?
TN
FIONA SAYS: You cannot force someone to agree with you, but you can ask your GP for a second opinion.
It may be that he was testing you to see how determined you are, so go back to him and state your case.
There may be a long waiting list to have surgery on the NHS so, if you want to consider going privately ask for his suggestions.
Alternatively, your nearest Sexual Health Clinic might be able to help you.
Go to www.nhs.uk and search "vasectomy" for details of what's involved; the various types of surgery and the clinics you could go to.
My dad has a drink problem
I think my dad's an alcoholic as I've caught him swigging out of whisky bottles when he thinks no one is looking.
When I asked him why he was trying to hide his drinking, he just got cross with me.
I've started looking and found bottles in all kinds of funny places, including one in the tank of the downstairs toilet.
Mum told me I'm just imagining it and that he was probably just having a quick drink to relax.
I know he's got problems at work but I'm sure he's hiding his bottles around the house so he can drink in secret.
AM
FIONA SAYS: People with drink problems often become very defensive when someone confronts them about it, so you may well be right to be concerned.
Often they deny there is a problem to themselves as well as their family.
It might be difficult for you, but I think you should talk to your father again and tell him how worried you are.
It might help him to face up to things if he realised how aware of it you have become.
Alcoholics Anonymous can help if he is willing to admit he's got a drink problem.
For you there is a young people's group called Alateen which you can find out more about via the Al-Anon website (www.al-anonuk.org.uk).
Your mum is clearly not facing up to the problem either so Al-Anon could be useful for her as well.
