THERE’S no doubt about it, the world of parenting is getting smaller. And for the planet’s parents, we could do worse things than learn from each other, whether we hail from Belfast or Beijing.
A new book by English writer Mark Woods showcases in fascinating detail how parenting methods differ across the world. From whistle toilet training babies in China to the ‘learning through play’ ethos of Finland.
While researching his book Planet Parent, Woods, a father of three, found vast differences in education practices, for example. In Finland, children begin school at age seven, but learning is done through play. Children can spend entire days outside playing. Homework is limited and just as much importance is placed on the arts and music as academic endeavours.
The polar opposite of that way of life is South Korea, where education revolves around testing and intense work, with children starting school at 6am, learning all day and often going to private tutors at night. Good luck trying to introduce that particular regime in the O’Neill house. It’s struggle enough getting my boys out of bed and into school at the more reasonable time of 9am.
The launch of the book inspired me to look further into the world’s parenting practices and how we do things radically differently to one another. In Vietnam and China, parents train their offspring to urinate at the sound of a whistle. Parents start to train their children at just a few weeks old. They pay great attention to when the baby does its toilet business and make a whistling sound to accompany the act.
It may sound a tad Barbara Woodhouse for some, but most children taught by this method are completely toilet trained by nine months. There has been no follow-up research done to suggest going to whistle-heavy scenarios like football matches has any detrimental effect in later life.
In Denmark parents often leave their babies out on the street in their prams while they go shopping or go for dinner. They strongly believe that children need ‘frisk luft’ or fresh air for health and development. As you can imagine, this practice would send shivers down the spines of us Northern Ireland parents. Can you imagine a line of parked and abandoned prams lined up outside CastleCourt as their owners hit the shops?
It was recently reported that a Danish woman was arrested in America for leaving her child outside a restaurant while she and her husband went inside to eat. But then Denmark, we must realise, is considered slightly more civilized than the Big Apple.
Babies in Norway play outside, and even take naps, in sub-zero temperatures. And in Japan, parents allow kids who are no more than toddlers a great deal of independence. It is not unknown for four-year-olds to take the subway by themselves.
And Spain would be any Northern Ireland kid’s dream come true as the rules there are that they can stay up as late as they want. Spanish families are totally of the belief that children should participate fully in family life in the evenings, so it’s no 7pm bedtime for them.
Perhaps my Japanese equivalent is writing an article for the Japan News right now, listing off the mad things Irish parents do while raising their children. We could all tell her stories of how Irish mammies disciplined us with a wooden spoon, soaked our dummies in whiskey to aid our sleep or opened the car windows and made us inhale manure fumes – or as they called it ‘fresh country air’ – to boost our health. And none of it did us any harm.
We all do our best; what we think is right. Each to their own.
