Life

Helping your little one make the move to a big bed

Mum-of-two Jenny Lee gets some advice from sleep coach Niamh O'Reilly on helping make your toddler make a dream move to the big girl or big boy bed

When your toddler tries to escape from their cot it's time to take the plunge and make the move to a bed
When your toddler tries to escape from their cot it's time to take the plunge and make the move to a bed When your toddler tries to escape from their cot it's time to take the plunge and make the move to a bed

WITH an acrobatic two-and-a-half-year-old daughter who is showing signs of growing independence on a daily basis, I go to sleep each night half expecting to be woken up by a huge bang as she manages to escape from her cot.

Having endured endless battles with her older brother, when we moved him to a big boy bed on his second birthday, I vowed to keep my second child secure in her cot as long as possible. However, I suspect the end of those baby years are drawing very close and we will just have to take the plunge and get set to transform her room into a big girl room.

Niamh O'Reilly is a sleep coach and author of No fuss Baby & Toddler Sleep book. Her advice to parents considering this next natural step in your child's development is "don't be anxious" about the move. "If you, as parents, are feeling anxious, your little one may pick up on this, so it's best to treat it as just something really normal," adds the 42-year-old Dubliner.

Although most toddlers make the move from cot to bed before their third birthday, Niamh says there is no right or wrong age. "The timing depends on the child and his or her temperament or personality,” adds Niamh, and in hindsight I now realise my eldest hadn’t the maturity to cope at just two.

As well as physically outgrowing the size of a cot and prevent your little escape artist injuring themselves, another reason many parents have for making the move is to make room for a new baby. If you are preparing for a new arrival, it’s important to move your toddler at least six to eight weeks before the new baby arrives to allow your little one to adjust and not feel pushed out by their new sibling.

Whatever your reasoning, preparation is key. “Don’t surprise your child with a new bed and expect the little one to accept it,” says Niamh, who advises parents to take their child on a special shopping outing for a new bed or new bed covers.

"If possible, place the new bed in the space where the cot used to be, so that your child's surrounding do not change too much. In this way the little one will still have familiar pints of reference in the room, which he or she is used to seeing from the cot."

Bedtime routine and timing are crucial in avoiding a night-time battle. “An over-tired toddler is like something on speed. They are either wired or in awful humour,” warns Niamh.

At this age many toddlers are also fighting their mid-day nap and parents may need to account for this, encouraging their little one to lie down and listen to music or an audio book during rest time and moving bedtime forward.

"Sometimes when you are changing a routine with a toddler there are a couple of days' pain around it while you adjust,” says Niamh, who says it can take up to a week and countless marching-back-to-bed trips for a toddler to get used to their big bed.

“It's about your attitude and teaching them bedtime is not a game. You need to be consistent, not become cross and not engage in conversation. Also you should share the load and have dad take over as it can be a bit soul destroying."

In the over-18-months age group the most consistent problem Niamh encounters is needing a parent to fall asleep with them and looking for drinks in the middle of the night. She advises parents to remove sleep props such as bottles and when they do move to a big bed you can leave a cup of water on a table beside their bed.

She also encourages parents to practice “selective ignoring”. “Ask toddlers what they want and I have no doubt they will say anything,” says Nimah, who recalls a little boy who was shouting in the middle of the night looking for ketchup.

“Part of your role as parents is to help put boundaries in place for your children. Setting limits as to what is acceptable behaviour at bedtime will stand to you in the long run. Running in to a toddler's every whim can kick-start some pretty bad habits at sleep time."

FURTHER TIPS FOR TODDLER SLEEP

:: Create a bedtime routine that can become the anchor of your day: dinner, wind-down, bath, story, bed – or a similar routine that works for you. This should be a calm, peaceful time that doesn't stimulate your child. The process will soon become familiar, allowing your toddler to recognise what's about to happen and to know that bedtime is approaching.

:: Make a reward chart, something fun you can create together. Involving your child in the process, rather than just buying one or making it yourself, may help encourage cooperation at bedtime.

:: Make your child's bedroom somewhere comfortable and inviting for bedtime. Involve your little one when setting up a new bedroom and choosing a duvet and pillow set. It gives them a sense of responsibility in this new process.

:: If monsters and things that go bump in the night are an issue, re-use an old 'squirty bottle' – help your child decorate it, then explain that you are putting 'magic' spray inside. let your little one give a few sprays around the room at bedtime to remove the scary things.

:: Don't continue to talk about the changes and new rules – your child will sense your anxiety. Your toddler's job is to push boundaries and yours is to set them. When it comes time for bed, put your toddler down with minimum fuss, chatting and stimulation.

:: As with most elements of parenting, it's important to be persistent and consistent. It may take some determination to pursue the routine and get to the finish line, but consistency is key.

:: Work as a team with your partner so that everyone know the plan and sticks to it. If your toddler's bedtime antics or middle-of-the-night wake-ups continue, take turns returning the little one to bed – try to avoid a good cop-bad cop situation.

:: No Fuss Baby and Toddler Sleep by Niamh O’Reilly is published by Mercier Press.