Child behaviour expert Richard Curtis has invented a philosophy that is going to change the path of parenting in years to come. He believes kids should help parents write house rules and help them find a niche in their digital world. Leona O'Neill writes
WE'VE heard of the Horse Whisperer, the Dog Whisperer and the Baby Whisperer, all claiming to have a calming, positive impact on our children and animals. Now we have the Kid Calmer, the newest child expert on the block, claiming to have the knowledge that will change the way we parent forever.
Richard Curtis - a long time teacher, child behaviour expert and author - has invented his own philosophy which includes designating the naughty step (made famous by the stern and quite terrifying Supernanny) to the bin once and for all, embracing the tantrum and allowing our children to grow up armed and ready for everything the 21st century throws at them. "I'm starting a movement, it's a movement on behalf of the next generations and it needs to start now," Richard told the press this week. He is eagerly tipped to take the crown from Supernanny to become the UK's leading child expert.
And with advice urging parents never to call a child naughty, more misunderstood - he insists that bad behaviour is never without a cause - he is speaking a lot of parents' and indeed kids' language. His philosophy includes inviting children to help write the house rules and advice on how parents can help their kids navigate their online world. Richard's website www.thekidcalmer.com is a mecca for parents the world over, eager for answers to issues about their kids - from babies to teenagers - and he has been charged with leading this century's parenting revolution.
Even though the man is not yet a parent himself, he spent many years helping troubled and challenging children and families find a better way - when primary schools pressed the big red button and expelled pupils, Richard was the man who often turned things around. He knows his stuff, has been there, done that and he talks a lot of sense.
Like Richard, I've never liked the naughty step. I have long frowned upon the dictator style of parenting that does not allow kids to express their anger and their frustration and have much preferred talking it out and getting down to their level.
As the Westminster elections are coming up and we are all in a political mood, Richard has furnished us with his manifesto for the future of parenting. They are well worth a look. 1. Tomorrow's world will be different; we owe it to our children to prepare them for it. 2. What was good enough for us is not good enough for our children. 3. Help children learn to deal with their emotions. Never smack your child - if you get to that point, then it's about you, not your child: you don't know what to do. 4. Bad behaviour is normally because a child does not know how to deal with a situation or get something. 5. Ditch the traumatic sanctions and thenaughty step. The naughty step should be banned, it's traumatic to force them there time after time and doesn't teach them how not to lose their temper, just to hide it. 6. Adults are not always right, don't be a dictator to your children. If you insist on winning every battle, you are a dictator, and they could either grow up being expected to be dictated to or to be a dictator themselves. All very interesting advice, I'm sure you'll agree. And just as the Supernanny's strict, over-the-glasses-style, naughty step parenting advice was all the rage until recently, Richard's advice will probably become yesterday's news as the next fad in parenting emerges. As parents, it's our job to just try and keep up.
* Communication is the best way of dealing with children's tantrums