SLEB Safari was both surprised and chuffed when it came across a feature in Vogue magazine on Kate Moss because it's not often one sees one's own life in print.
Yes, that's right, Sleb Safari is Kate's muse. Who do you think introduced her to boho chic?
The similarities between the model and Sleb Safari are freakish, to the point that it can feel like a separated at birth thing.
Kate allowed Vogue into her home and among the photos to emerge from this sociological expedition was one of the large wardrobe in which she stores her handbags.
Sleb Safari's thunderclap moment came when its gaze alighted on that very photo. Only then did it realise that Kate had been making notes and soaking up Sleb Safari's style every time she was round Sleb Safari's house.
It all made sense once Kate explained the algorithm of her bag organisation. Sleb Safari could hear its own voice coming from the pages of Vogue. "My handbags are arranged by: black vintage, black daytime, bling evening, Chanel, colourful daytime and, lastly, simple clutches. I usually carry a classic Louis Vuitton bowling bag," Kate said.
Obviously her shoe collection is also based on Sleb Safari's. "My wardrobe is brimming with Louboutins - the classic black Pigalle stiletto in patent or matt black leather is my go-to shoe. I have so many pairs that Christian designed a style with a sharper toe and nail-thin heel, which he named the So Kate." Sleb Safari has it on good authority that a range of footware has been designed with it in mind and these orthopaedic shoes are available in at least two colours in all sensible shoe shops.
One thing Sleb Safari and its protégé disagree on is sunglasses. "Sunglasses are for playing dress-up," Kate says. "I collect anything from the original Ray-Ban shapes through to 70s Aviators or 80s mask shades."
Nuh-uh. Designer sunglasses are for wearing in public for that one day of summer and then returning safely to their case until needed the following year.
In any case there did come a point when Sleb Safari got annoyed at seeing its life replicated in the pages of a magazine. When Kate was asked about her fears she said her recurring fear was paparazzi.
Kate, you are ripping the bottom out of this now. You flipping well know that's Sleb Safari's pet peeve too. Have some shame. And a thank you wouldn't go amiss either.