Young adults need to make a life for themselves

* continued from Page 21

"Every parent's aim should be to get their child out and on their own. "You should treat them in some respects the same way you would treat a lodger and say if they don't meet the rules, they'll have to find another place to live."

While the book covers all aspects of a young adult's life, from jobs to social life and sex, it's not all about the kids.

Hines points out that the 'non-parent you' has been in the shade for however many years of age your child is and now that older and less familiar you needs to be nurtured and encouraged in much the same way as your child. "All the parents I've met embrace the notion of freedom from the kids, but felt an enormous loss," she says. "Being a parent is a hat we wear in life, and it's a very big one, particularly for women. They hate losing the sense of themselves as a parent. "Things can become very quiet and a little staid when children leave home, and parents sometimes feel truly middle-aged, and miss the energy. They have to realise that this major part of their life has come to an end. "A lot of parents want to be needed, but they need to see it's better for kids to move on with their lives."

* Later!: AGuide To Parenting A Young Adult by Gill Hines and Alison Baverstock is in paperback published by Piatkus, priced £14.99.


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