WHAT Sleb Safari likes best about Amal Clooney - on top of her having taken George off Sleb Safari's hands and put an end to those teary late-night 'I'm never going to meet anyone' phone calls - is that because of her subjects like the Elgin marbles are appearing in showbiz and gossip pages.
Bravo George for marrying a civilian.
Sleb Safari feels Amal is bringing culture and a touch of gloss to its life and applauds her efforts.
Unfortunately Beyonce is doing the exact opposite. If anything she's getting on Sleb Safari's nerves with her endless selfies in the Louvre. Who stands with their back to the Mona Lisa and takes a photo of themselves? Other than Beyonce, who?
Straight off the bat Sleb Safari is going to apologise for showing you the accompanying photograph of her barnet. A fringe like that should be hidden under a hat but Sleb Safari could not take the chance of complaining about something which Irish News readers may not have seen.
It is hideous is it not? Sleb Safari suspects Beyonce went to bed with 'normal' hair and woke to find Blue Ivy standing over her with a pair of arts and crafts scissors.