Selfie, lelfoe, pelfie - who cares?
FOR some time now Sleb Safari has been examining the photographic self-portraits of celebrities, known as 'selfies'. Sleb Safari is sure you've seen one or two in your time, maybe even taken one or two if your arm is long enough or your wine glass large enough.
The dudes at the Oxford English Dictionaries were so tickled by the craze that they made selfie their word of the year in 2013. The selfie didn't turn up to collect the award, but no matter.
Millie Mackintosh, her of Made in Chelsea, is queen of the selfie. At one point last December the Daily Mail got into a lather about the confectionery heiress's rabid obsession with posting photos of her legs to her Instagram account.
Millie had, the newspaper breathlessly announced, "kickstarted" a "lelfie trend".
On top of the lelfie, literally on top, is the belfie - a self-portrait of one's bottom.
While always wishing to be supportive of any self-employed woman putting in the hours, Sleb Safari would still rather not have seen Kim Kardashian's belfie which featured her $21 million derriere in a white swimsuit.
Last week Nicki Minaj posted naked selfies from the shower. Seems strange, but clothed selfies from the shower would have been stranger, non?
By Sleb Safari's estimates, and using the Daily Mail portmanteau rulebook, Nicki actually took 'shelfies' - which must make Jessie J's bath selfie a 'bathie'. Sleb Safari is moving fast and naming more selfie categories before someone else gets in there first.
And so it brings you the 'delfie', a photo of a celebrity holding a piece of crockery. Miley Cyrus licking a China plate and the like.
Then there's the 'elfie' - which is basically any photograph Cate Blanchett would take of herself wearing her Lord of the Rings ears - and the 'felfie', the after-a-celebrity's-been-for-arun-in-muddy-fields selfie.
Finally, Sleb Safari brings you the 'pelfie' which is obviously when a celeb takes a photo of themselves surreptitiously shovelling pick-and-mix into their pockets.
Sleb Safari has high hopes the Oxford English Dictionaries people get wind of these linguistic advancements and insist on putting them in the latest version of that big word book of theirs.