Life

Bottoms up for Cheryl

ONE week after Sleb Safari reported the shocking news that Cheryl Cole had caught her boyfriend slathering her £100 face cream on his ankles, Sleb Safari feels obliged to comment on madam's bottom after her tattoo artist released a photo of the giant rose inking that now adorns her tush.

The tattoo starts half way down her back and covers her entire bottom so must have called for more than one packet of paracetamol. Plenty of people have spluttered their outrage but Sleb Safari thinks Cheryl has her head screwed on - she's never going to have cellulite on that bott-bott now, or at least we'll never be able to see any cellulite under the tattoo.

Sleb Safari reckons it was Cheryl's financial advisor who told her a tattoo would be a better investment than throwing money at anti-cellulite cream made from unicorn sneezes and panda burps, and if truth be told Sleb Safari respects that kind of long-sighted financial savvy.