Hello hale and hearty types and “wouldn’t walk the length of himself/herself” types as well, you're all welcome to the Bluffer’s Guide to Irish.
Well, the Bluffer is grinning like a Cheshire cat at the minute.
Tá lúcháir air - he is joyous if not overjoyed at having finished his first Rith Páirce - Parkrun and has lived to tell the tale.
And he didn’t do it the easy way.
He hauled his ancient frame for cúig chiliméadar - five kilometres up and around Gleann Colláin - Colin Glen, a run that starts off with a steep incline which very quickly led the Bluffer to sound like Darth Vader heavy-breathing through a megaphone.
(Tá tú ag dul suas le mála means you are going up an incline be it Colin Glen or the road up to the Glenshane Pass or leaving Castlewellan.
Tá tú ag dul síos le fána indicates that you are going downhill, literally rather than metaphorically.)
But back to the Bluffer’s athletic feat/feet.
He got to Colin Glen early enough to find out about na rialacha - the rules, of which there are not a lot.
It’s lovely just ag comhrá - chatting to strangers as they give you advice and encouragement and that is one of the nicest things about doing parkruns the sense of community and wellbeing and positivity, thanks in large part to the wonderful volunteers who make the events tick.
So, at just after 9.30am, off we went.
When you sign up online to parkrun (at parkrun.org.uk) you get a barcode which you need to take to the run with you so that they can be scanned to record your finish time.
There are currently 25 parkruns throughout the north.
OMG, bhí sé dian - it was tough. Participants were generally of three types - runners, joggers and walkers so you can choose your own pace.
Bhí an chéad mhála iontach géar - the first slope was very steep and soon some of us were as anáil - out of breath but again, people who take part in parkruns are very supportive, encouraging and thankfully, totally non-judgemental.
It you want to encourage your Gaeilgeoir parkrunners, you can shout “Maith thú” - well done followed by their name or “bulaí fir” - good man or “bulaí girsí” - good girl or even a light-hearted “bog do thóin” - move your ass!
But it is all down to the individual. The age of the runners went from children to grandparents while some at Colin Glen even had prams with them!
The Bluffer himself was getting used to the pace.
Ag rith - running most of the time but ag siúl - walking whenever it was needed.
Some parkruns are iontach cothrom - very flat, others quite cnocach - hilly.
Of course, the natural beauty of Colin Glen was a bonus and made the effort worthwhile.
B’fhiú go mór é - it was really worth it.
So the Bluffer indeed did end up finishing his first parkrun - 35mins and 30 secs if you must know - but of course the plan is to get down to 30 minutes and then down to 25 minutes.
Is there a better way of spending a Saturday morning?
CÚPLA FOCAL
tá lúcháir air(taa lookhaar er) - he is joyous
rith páirce(rih paarka) - Parkrun
cúig chiliméadar(coog kilimayder) - five kilometres
Gleann Colláin(glaan collan) - Colin Glen
Tá tú ag dul suas le mála (taa too eg gul sooas le maala) - you are going up an incline
Tá tú ag dul síos le fána (aa too eg gul sheesh le fana) - you are going downhill
na rialacha(ne reealaha) - the rules
ag comhrá(eg coera) - chatting
bhí sé dian(vee shay jeean)- it was tough
Bhí an chéad mhála iontach géar(bee un cayd wala eentakh gayr) - the first slope was very steep
as anáil(as anaal) - out of breath
Maith thú(myh hoo) - well done
bulaí fir(bulee fir) - good man
bulaí girsí(bulee girshee) - good girl
bog do thóin(bug daw hone) - move your ass!
ag rith(eg rih)- running
ag siúl(eg shoo-il) - walking
iontach cothrom(eentakh cawhrum) - very flat
cnocach (cruckakh) - hilly
B’fhiú go mór é (byoo gaw more ay) - it was really worth it