If we could find out, would we really want to know what the future holds for us?
GO mBEANNAÍ do Dhia duit, greetings to all and sundry as you have arrived at another action-packed edition of the Bluffer’s Guide to Irish.
Seo ceist daoibh - here is a question for you all.
If you could learn the answer to one question about your future, what would the question be?
(Did I just hear a sharp intake of breath and an “ooooh”?)
The most common answer to this is Cá fhad a mhairfidh mé? - how long will I live?
Now for one, the Bluffer isn’t keen on knowing when he is going to that big Gaeltacht up in the sky.
Longevity isn’t always a good thing. You don’t want to be living in a teach altranais - a nursing home in Ballygobackwards, watching Antiques Roadshow and Dogs Behaving Badly to end your days.
Others might think it is a great idea, though, so they can put a bucket list together before shuffling off.
Turas domhanda mara - taking a world cruise or na Saighneáin a fheiceáil - seeing the Northern Lights or learning to play the banjo, everyone will have a different set of things they want to do before the Grim Reaper arrives.
A question singletons might ask is Cé a phósfaidh mé? - who will I marry?
This will do away with wasting time on really crappy dates with someone who wont end up being your soulmate.
If lurve ain’t your thing, what about spondoolicks?
An mbeidh mé saibhir? - will I be rich? The answer to this of course need full disclosure.
You don’t want the answer to be ‘yes’ if it is because you lose your left leg in an accident at work and get squillions in compo.
A better question would be Cad é na huimhreacha a bhainfidh Euromillons? - what are the numbers that will win Euromillions? Preferably this week so you can start that bucket list.
Needless to say, money isn’t everything. You need your health to enjoy it so An mbeidh mé folláin? - will I be healthy is a question you could ask. But don’t. No-one wants to know if they will have Alzheimers in their fifties or gout in their forties. See? It’s not a good idea.
Some people are very caring and don’t want to know about themselves but about their nearest and dearest.
So a possible question for the mythical oracle who is going to foretell your future is an mbeidh rath ar mo chuid páistí? - will my children be successful?
A positive answer to that question can do wonders for your suaimhneas intinne - peace of mind but news that wee Johnny is going to end up an alcolaí - an alcholic and little Tammy Lee is one day going to become leader of UKIP.
So, knowing what an todhchaí - the future holds might not be such a great thing.
You’d need to ask the oracle if could change the course of your life so that you could avoid the bullet of marrying someone inappropriate or choosing one job over another or not taking that gift token for an all-over waxing.
In reality, life’s not like that.
Cibé a tharlóidh, tarlóidh sé - whatever is going to happen, it will happen or as Doris Day sang “Que sará, será, whatever will be, will be The future’s not ours to see, Que sará, será.”
Seo ceist daoibh (shaw cesht deev) - here is a question for you
Cá fhad a mhairfidh mé? (ca had a warhee may) - how long will I live?
teach altranais (chakh altranish) - a nursing home
turas domhanda mara (turis dowanda mara) - a world cruise
na Saighneáin a fheiceáil (na saighnyaan a eckle) - to see the Northern Lights
Cé a phósfaidh mé? (cay a foss-hee may ) - who will I marry?
An mbeidh mé saibhir? (un may may siyver) - Will I be rich?
Cad é na huimhreacha a bhainfidh Euromillons (cadge ay na hivraha a winhe Euromillions) - what are the numbers that will win Euromillions
An mbeidh mé folláin? (un my may follainh) - will I be healthy
An mbeidh rath ar mo chuid páistí? (un may rah er maw khudge paashtee) - will my children be successful?
suaimhneas intinne (sooivnyiss inchina) - peace of mind
alcólach (alcolakh) - an alcholic
an todhchaí (un taykhee) - the future
cibé atá ag dul a tharlú, tarlóidh sé (kibay ataa eg dul a harloo, tarloee shay) - whatever is going to happen, will happen