Go mbeannaí Dia daoibh, how’s it goin’ my Irish language apprentices and welcome to the Bluffer’s Guide to Irish.
Sometimes when you are in the company of Gaeilgeoirí (one of the most mis-spelt words in Irish) you might see some of them wearing a little ring on their lapels.
This is called an fáinne - the ring and it signifies that you know Irish, fáinne airgid - a silver ring for learners and fáinne óir - a gold ring for super-dooper Gaeilgeoirí like the Bluffer.
To earn your fáinne you have to do a conversation exam where you are asked questions appropriate to your level.
So, here is how the Bluffer would cope with the question: Cá raibh tú ar laethanta saoire anuraidh? - Where were you on holidays last year.
The answer could be ní dheachaigh mé áit ar bith - I didn’t go anywhere and it’s not everybody who can jet away to the Costa del Whatever for a winter break or a summer holiday.
If you (or your loving parents) are without significant cash flow problems then you could say chuaigh muid go Torremolinos - we went to Torremolinos or as one travel writer has called it, Hell. The Bluffer actually likes Torremolinos.
Many people go on family holidays so you would say chuaigh an teaghlach uilig go Benidorm - the whole family went to Benidorm.
Again the image of the Spanish resort you get from watching the TV comedy is different to the reality if my sources are telling the truth.
Many others of course like to stay in Ireland for their hollyers but I refuse to use the word staycation.
Tá carabhán againn i mBaile na Mianadóirí - we have a caravan in Minerstown is a common phrase and of course you could substitute the other caravan parks that are so popular all over the country.
Some other people have a set holiday each year and go to the same place because it works for them.
So you might hear people say téann muid go dtí an Ghaeltacht gach bliain - we go to the Gaeltacht every year.
Now the Bluffer has never done one but he has heard good reports from people who have done an aistear mara - a cruise.
Yours truly is worried about getting sea sick and also about his inability to play quoits but maybe one day ...
There are actually cruise ships who major in Irish music so you could be sailing around the West Indies while listening to folk and trad in between games of quoits.
The kind of holiday the Bluffer likes is one where he can go on some siúlóidí cnoc - hill walks in nice sunshine during the day, have a rest and then go out to eat animals he has never heard of and drink copious amounts of the local snake oil.
Eachtraíocht - adventure is not for him so climbing the Himalayas, kyaking in the Grand Canyon are non-starters and you will not see him paragliding down Mount Errigal any day soon.
He is fond of the odd city break and after having been to Paris, Madrid, Malaga now Seville, Krakow, Prague and Lisburn are on his bucket list.
So that should be you half-way to earning your fáinne óir.
Vocab:
an fáinne (un faanya) - the ring
fáinne airgid(faanya aragidge) - a silver ring
fáinne óir(faanya ore) - a gold ring
Cá raibh tú ar laethanta saoire anuraidh?(ca roe too er layhanta seera anuree) - Where were you on holidays last year?
ní dheachaigh mé áit ar bith(nee hahee may iytch er bee) - I didn’t go anywhere
chuaigh muid go Torremolinos (khooee midge gaw torremolinos) - we went to Torremolinos
chuaigh an teaghlach uilig go Benidorm (khooee un chaowlakh go benidorm) - the whole family went to Benidorm
Tá carabhán againn i mBaile na Mianadóirí (taa caravaan ageen i mala ne meeanadoree) - we have a caravan in Minerstown
téann muid go dtí an Ghaeltacht gach bliain(chayan midge gaw jee un gayltakht gakh bleean) - we go to the Gaeltacht every year
aistear mara(aashter mara) - a cruise
siúlóidí cnoc(shooiloydgee mara) - hill walking
eachtraíocht(akhtreeakht) - adventure