"I FOUND you in my spit" is just one of the many poignant lines in Father The Father, a new play from Prime Cut Production and Belfast's MAC theatre, which offers a fresh perspective on the ongoing discussion around unmarried mothers in Ireland.
Exploring identity, secrecy, shame and legacy, Father The Father is the debut play of Gilly Campbell. Having started her working life as an actress in London, before moving to arts administration, Gilly is currently head of Community Arts and Education at the Arts Council of Northern Ireland.
Gilly wrote the play based on her own personal journey of growing up not knowing who her father was. Her mother, from Downpatrick, became pregnant in 1973 and was not married, deciding to hide her pregnancy by moving away to England. Gilly knew nothing about her father – nor did her mother.
The autobiographical story details Gilly's thoughts, feelings and questions surrounding her father.
"I began the search for my father around two and a half years ago. It started with an online DNA test and more details became unveiled," says Gilly, who kept a written record of her journey of discovery.
"I wrote things down mainly to hold onto bits of information and then, as I was writing it, I felt that this was actually a story which is very timely and might connect with others. My story is but one version, one journey of many children who were born to Irish single, unmarried women.
"There's so much I'll never know about my father, so the play is an exploration of asking the questions that I'll never have the answer to.
"At times it is sad, yet hopeful, and it is just one of the stories from the dark ages of secrecy that surrounded 'illegitimate' children in Ireland."
Belfast actress Abigail McGibbon stars in the one-women play. She says it is "a powerful story that will resonate with many".
"It deals with the most basic of emotions – parental love and family. The story is told through her spoken thoughts for her father. The confusion, joy, pain, anger and hurt experienced in that journey are conveyed sensitively and simply, because to do it any other way wouldn't be appropriate."
Abigail has been grateful to be able to delve deeper into her character's mindset by having Gilly in the rehearsal room alongside herself and director Emma Jordan.
"I have often performed true stories, but they're not written by a person who's in the rehearsal room with you. It's her story, here and now, and to be able to touch base with her emotionally and discover more of the story that is not in the play has been invaluable.
"It helps add to my performance when I'm able to feel more rooted and grounded in the person I'm performing."
Whilst theatres have remained closed to the public throughout the past year, Abigail has been fortunate to work on a few different projects, most recently in David Ireland's new play, Sadie, at the Lyric Theatre, which was broadcast on the BBC last week and is now available to view on iPlayer.
"I've had a few wobbles emotionally but nothing compared to others who have lost their homes or loved ones," adds Abigail, who is delighted to be returning to the stage of the MAC.
"Yes, I've lost many jobs, but I've done some Covid-reactive work. I've a radio play coming up and more new world hybrid theatre that all directors are currently exploring. We have to look at the positives."
Recorded live and available online for 10 days from April 8, there have been no compromises made to the theatrical qualities of Father The Father, which has been brought to life by sound designer Katie Richardson and set, lighting and AV director Ciaran Bagnall.
"The soundscape is very atmospheric, with lots of abstract sounds," explains Abigail.
"Katie is so on top of her game and it's a pleasure to get to work with her at last. Likewise, the stage is cracking. It's not naturalistic, but instead uses perspective to make it look like it is disappearing into the background, with projections being screened on both sides."
And how does she find performing to an empty theatre?
"I'm OK with it, as long as I know in advance. I'm just delighted to be working, and if that involves talking to a camera to reach an audience, so be it."
The advantage of a recorded play, of course, is the potential to reach a global audience: Abigail believes that the issues explored in Father The Father are "universal" and translate worldwide.
"There are certain things that the human conditions have in common and basic needs we are all require. We are all born and we all need loved, watered and fed."
Gilly found the writing Father The Father both "painful" and "cathartic", but above all "liberating".
"My own family are quite close but we have not always talked about the important stuff, and being able to express something artistically has helped us talk about things as a family," adds Gilly, who hopes the play will also encourage society to talk more about how women and babies were failed here in the past.
Whilst the writer hopes audience will gain empathy for children who, like herself, had "a sense of shame" about their existence, and compassion for women, like her mother, who lived under "unjust judgement" for decades, Abigail's own personal response to the play was apologetic.
"If I'm really, really honest – and I feel bad saying this – I'm just so glad that I had my mum and dad under the same roof.
"As we've moved to rehearse in the theatre with the set lights upon you, it has impacted me more. This morning when I was heading out to work, I just said to my mum 'I love you'.
"Everyone has troubles in their families and it wasn't plain sailing for us. My dad is dead 21 years now, but I'm grateful to live with my mum and see her every day, especially during this past year."
:: Father The Father will premiere online at 8pm on Thursday April 8 and will then be available on demand until Saturday April 17. To book tickets visit Themaclive.com
